in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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