Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
