The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
