I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's always time for handjobs
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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