Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
