So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
