Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I understand Curling. That high.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
