Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
where does the pee come out of this thing
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
