the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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