Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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