I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
