her vagine was all disorganized.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
