wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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