He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize