Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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