With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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