But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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