Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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