what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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