the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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