I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
