WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
