She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
