Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
