Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
