i jhust puked up my retainher.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
