I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
