eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Farmville is her only friend.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
