I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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