is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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