Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
