Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
