you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
