either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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