I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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