shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
