I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
