I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
