so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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