Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
