Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
