He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
