What did we do last night that was yellow?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
