haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
