She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
