Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
