he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
