The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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