my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
