Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
