did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize