I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
