My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I take back everything I said about communal showers
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
