thus making me awesome and them whores
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
