all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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