haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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