Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
