She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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