Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize