he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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