i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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