my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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