Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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