what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
