that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
