It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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