I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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