Little spoons don't ask big questions
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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