Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
